Breathing, the key to connection!

Canada 2017 - Taking some time to relax and breathe in nature after teaching a clinic.

Breathe in, breathe out, it sounds so easy!

Breathe in, breathe out, it sounds so easy. If you did not do it, you wouldn't be alive. We breathe about 20.000-30.000 times per day but it is often unconscious and very shallow. If we can improve the quality of our breathing, we improve the quality of our life!

Conscious breathing also brings us more into our body, because it expands the diaphragm, which is connected to our autonomic nervous system. It activates the parasympathetic state of relaxation and helps us to let go of accumulated stress in our body. Deep breathing brings us to a place where we are more present and more relaxed, and that is the place where our horses want to meet us.

Have you ever been told to “take a deep breath” before doing something you are worried about? Take a deep breath before you go on stage, take a deep breath before you enter a competition…. All of us know that when we let that breath out, we feel that tension ebbing down from our shoulders.. So we all know taking a deep breath can help – but there is far more to breathing than that.

When I first meet a nervous horse, one that doesn't like to stand still, has those wrinkles above the eyes or a tight mouth, the first thing I do is to consciously breathe more deeply. I bring my attention to my feet to ground myself and I take a really deep breath. 

When I consciously slow my breathing and start to relax, so does the horse. We first need to self-regulate and then we can co-regulate. I will talk about why and how this works in another blog post about the nervous system.

Breathing and Training
 

In my training I always start with the "Announcement breath". It indicates to my horse that something is going to happen. Since we are connected, my horse will prepare him/herself for my request. Also on this topic I will explain more in another blog 'Breathe, Connect and move as ONE'.

Using your breathing and energy when you work with your horse makes everything easier and more enjoyable. If I ask my horse to walk or trot, I breathe in (announcement breath) and bring my energy up in the direction I want to move (forward, backward or upward). When I slow my breathing, my connected horse will  also slow down. Using this approach, you can have your horse going up into trot and down into a walk just on a breath. You can have your horse back up just by taking a deep breath and slightly leaning backward.

When I am working with people on their riding confidence, I have to remind them to breathe because they are  holding their breath. To hold your breath, you must have tension in your body! When we ride or work with a horse, holding our breath, or with short, shallow breathing, the horse feels this. Being prey animals,  they KNOW something is wrong. They pick up on our tension, and get ready to run from whatever is scaring us. Not realizing, of course, that THEY are what is scaring us (or their anticipated behavior) and so it gets a vicious circle.

When I say to someone who is nervous, or who is sitting on a nervous horse, “breathe out long, make a sound, sing or hum” and they noisily exhale, letting the air they have been holding out of their lungs, the horse relaxes too, often breathe out themselves letting go of tension too.

Breathing and Trauma
 

My new horse, Jajão, came from Portugal. He had traumatic experiences with anything that had to do with riding and one of our first rides he exploded into a wild galop. All I could think was to stay on and bring him on a circle, which eventually slowed him down again. We were both trembling and breathing quickly and shallow.

I did not attempt another ride for about 3-4 months. I only spent time with him to breathe and bond together, going for walks in the forest and playing at liberty. We needed to build trust and communication so that we would both be able to relax and just know that we were not going to hurt each other.

I had some fear or trauma in my body as well, from a fall from my other horse a year prior to this. Some instructors tell you to get on your horse after you fall off, but I know that he would pick up my worry, and then he would feel worried about that tension around him. I know that if I tried to mount him again too early,  he would swing his head round to nip and “protect himself”, a defensive behavior that many read as dominance. Most people’s usual response to dominance is to get bigger and more assertive, which is the worst thing to do when the behavior is defensive – it only makes them feel they have to defend themselves and their space MORE – and we get into an escalating spiral of aggressive behavior. Not at all good for horse OR human. And certainly not good for confidence and connection!

So all I focused on doing was getting in harmony with him. I would consistently match his breathing and synchronize with his steps and then slow my breathing down. One of the most obvious signs that we are anxious, is our breathing. By focusing on our breathing and slowing it down to steady, deep breaths, we send a completely different message to our horse when we are around them.

And you know the amazing thing? When we do deep slow breathing to calm our horse, our own feelings change.There are simple biological reasons for this: short rapid breathing is the trigger for adrenalin to get ready for action, whereas slow deep breathing is the trigger for relaxation and healing. Our muscles relax and, probably most importantly, our brain slows down and allows us to become more aware and present. We shift from being reactive, fear-driven creatures to calm and present beings – and that feels completely different to our horses.

Breathing works on the ground AND when riding. When I ride a nervous horse, the first thing I do when I get on is make sure I am BREATHING, slowing my breathing and heart rate enables my horse to let go of tension and breathe too….. Starting your ride from a calm and connected place is the first requirement for a relaxed ride, and this is where your breathing can have such a powerful impact!

My horse, Jajão, loves to be with me when I'm in a relaxed and coherent state.

Breathe - Trust - Connect

Learning to consciously breathe fully when you are with your horse is a first step to connect with your horse. When you do this consciously, you relax yourself and you relax your horse and you can use your breathing to harmonise with your horse. Then you use your breath as communication to finally get that “moving together as ONE on a breath” feeling so many are dreaming of!

Full conscious breathing will improve not only the connection with your horse, but also the connection with yourself and with everything else around you. Let your breathing open you up all the way, it will change your life!


Wishing you happy, full and conscious breathing!

If you really want to learn more about how breathing can help you and how to connect your horse to your breathing in your training,  I warmly invite you to join my True Connection course!

Based on the feedback from hundreds of people who followed the True Connection course, I can guarantee you that this course will transform the way you see and work with your horse!

You can start TODAY with a €100 off! Your horse will be grateful!

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